Lucky Number Five

Last Thursday was the fourth best day of my life. In fact, I put it right up there with moving to Austin, meeting my husband, getting engaged and my wedding day. Oh, and the day that my husband was matched to me through eHarmoney was a pretty good day as well. So, that's five. Thursday was the fifth best day of my life.

On Thursday, as I was sitting in the VP corner office (that I'd taken over, after the VP was fired, without asking) answering the tech support line, the founder of our small technology company and the office manager walked in. "Oh no--do my passwords still work?" I quipped as I turned to my laptop and feigned logging into an application. Their nervous titters stopped me cold as I realized I'd hit the proverbial nail right on the head.

"We're so sorry..." the founder began, shaking, "it's not just you. Most of the company's being let go..."

I barely listened to them as my mind began racing. I'm getting laid off! Laid. Off. What will I do? Who will I become? Once I fulfilled my dream of becoming a sales engineer (not terribly lofty, I know) I made a pact with myself that I would get out of the technology arena all together. Now is my chance! I can do anything, be anything I want! What I want is to call my husband *right now*.

"...and it's nothing personal..."

I wonder what's going to happen to the customers. I'm one of two people manning the support desk (don't ask me why an SE mans a support desk---ridiculous) and the product we support is not run-of-the-mill. There were customers actively upgrading their system and calling me every few hours for help. There were customers with down systems who were waiting for me to exam their error logs and come up with a resolution.

"...you will get paid through January 15th..."

What's that? Darn! I was so hoping to be done with with my job today. Like clockwork an email came in. Another customer asking me to help fix his problems. This particular guy always had the toughest issues to resolve. A sense of relief washed over me.

"You have been a tremendous employee and we will bend over backwards to help you find something else..."

Uh-oh...shouldn't have bought that red Coach wallet yesterday! I wonder if I can take it back? That could cover our grocery bill for the next month...

"...and that's about it."

They looked at me expectantly. I stared back. Seconds ticked by, then it hit me: I was to pack up my things and exit the premise immediately. "Oh, ummm...so I should go ahead and leave now?" I asked, stupidly. They just stared, unable to bring themselves to verbally kick me out. "Oh...okay then." Now it was my turn to shake which made no sense since moments earlier I was disappointed when I thought I had to stay until the 15th. "Well, I need to update a few cases and pack up my things. Should take around fifteen minutes--is that okay?" They looked relieved and nodded their agreement. "Great, I will do that and stop by your office on my way out the door."

They stood up and smiled. Handshakes all around. I think someone even clapped me on my back. "Please keep in touch," they urged, "we'd really like to help you."

Suh-weet! I needed a second referral letter for MBA school and now I know exactly who I'm going to hit up.

Cards were exchanged, numbers written down, more handshaking and, with that, I was done with my sales engineering career forever.

On the way to my car I called my husband, laughing. "I just lost my job!" I announced as he answered the call. "What?" he said, voice breaking up. "I can't hear you. What did you say?"

"My job--it's my job. I lost it!" I repeated slightly louder, suddenly becoming aware of my surroundings.

"Your what? I still can't hear you!" he said.

Oh for the love of God--how many times am I going to have to in-so-many-words announce that I am a loser? I glance around the parking lot and saw a few people within earshot. "Hang on," I told him, "let me just get into my car."

Once in the car I made my startling announcement for the third time.

"Oh my goodness--why?" he asked.

Let me stop here. For weeks, no, months my husband, a venture capitalist, has been predicting the demise of my company. In fact, last night at dinner he told me that my company was probably going to fold. And now he's asking me why I lost my job? I decided to toy with him.

"I got fired for stealing!" I announced.

"You WHAT???"

I couldn't believe the man actually believed me. "Stealing--I got fired for stealing!" Silence on the other end. "Oh geez, honey, I'm only kidding! I just got laid off because the company is going under."

The rest of the conversation went as conversations of that nature do. I filled him in on the events of that morning and then cut to the important stuff: "I need a new phone--they're taking mine back." The thought filled me with glee. There is nothing I love more than picking a new smart phone. I've had at least six over the past year. This time I wanted a red one.

"Fine, baby, go to the AT&T store and pick one out. Read the reviews on CNET first," he advised.

I put my car into gear and drove through the winding hills to my house. Ah, the freedom of being the master of your own time. How will I fill it? Whatever will I do? Will I sleep until noon every day? Will I sit around and watch afternoon talk shows? Will I engage in boredom eating? No, I will not! I will work out daily, study for my GMAT's and cook a delicious meal every night--from scratch! I will fire the maid and clean the house myself! I will grow a vegetable garden (never mind that our yard is shady)and cull the rewards for my husband's gourmet lunches. I will complete all of those outstanding home projects and take contract jobs to pull my weight financially. I will become something I've never been before in my life: a housewife.