Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Crafts 101

Now that I am a housewife I've found that I have time for crafts. Nevermind that I've never taken an art class, have no understanding of the color wheel and can't so much as imagine a straight line. This morning was different, however. This morning I found myself making a 'Snowflake Starbucks Coffe Mug'.

Here's how you do it: Grab your brand new won-it-at-the-office-Christmas-party Starbucks coffee mug. I happen to like this particular mug because it's shiny and silver (I'm rather to partial to shiny things like, for instance, diamonds). Pour some luke warm coffee in it. Stick it in the microwave. Jump ten feet in the air when bolts of electricity start shooting out. Thrust open the microwave door and voila! There you have it--the 'Snowflake Starbucks Coffee Mug'!



If you look *very carefully* you can see the snowflake pattern etched in the finish (it's between the scorch marks and the missing laminate). I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned here somewhere but I haven't identified it. I can't wait to do this stuff with our kids!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, as I sneaky reading this emailed blog (thanks by the way!), I scroll awaiting to see some cool crafty thing, and then there sits the newly shocked therapy item of choice! I'm glad to see that this form of emotional therapy hasn't been totally lost, only transferred to random objects of said frustration! Ha ha!!! Coincidence, I think nay! Take that!!! You stupid company! Ha ha!!!

latas!
- Mel

blog author said...

i can't believe someone put reflective stuff on a coffee mug knowing that most people put those into the microwave.... scary! i did that with foil wrapped butter once... gotta love lightening in the microwave!

K said...

Would you like to borrow my glass firing kiln? I see some real talent brewing beneath the surface!

Femme au Foyer said...

Mel - that's a good point! In fact, that's the second coffee mug from Starbucks that sucked. The last one I bought was a bright pink travel mug (tasteful, I know) that turned out to be a dribble glass.

Kelly - is this the kiln that you fired up once and haven't seen in years? If so, send it my way! Perhaps I...you know what? I can't even finish my thought pattern. I am *so distacted* by the thought of you and a glass firing kiln--what were you planning to make!?? Please, oh please give me a run-down of your thought pattern when you made that purchase. I have a feeling I will be laughing for hours! I wish everyone else here knew you so that they could see just how funny this truly is. I'm going to call you now to make sure I haven't offended you!

Anonymous said...

That's pretty f...ing funny. Although, I will say, I taught my kindergarteners ages ago to never put anything metal or shiny in the microwave. Maybe you need to come out here and have a sit in on one of my helpful life lessons that I teach my students such as "Don't be bossy" and "If you're going to play with your food throw it away now!" And I actually did make a kid throw out his lunch yesterday because he was playing with his meatloaf. Yes, I'm the mean teacher, blame it on my masters degree, I know way too much now about discipline and deviancy.

blog author said...

rose, i think you may have gotten 'played' by your student. what kid REALLY wants to eat meatloaf? i know i never did :)

Femme au Foyer said...

Little Sister, is there any particular reason that you selected the 'Don't Be Bossy' class as your example of one I should attend?

Femme au Foyer said...

You know, Mel, that's a good point and one I probably should have brought up myself, however, reading Toes' comment launched me into a revery of an event that happened when I was in the first grade. My mother was the cafeteria hostess (I know-- nightmare) which gave me some sort of false sense of being superior to the other six year-olds. One day I had eased into my normal lunchtime stance of half standing, half kneeling (left knee planted on my chair for balance) in front of my place at the table. Perhaps my mother warned me several times to "sit", I don't know, but all I recall is her suddenly taking my chair away thus forcing me to stand the remainder of the lunch period. Finding myself cast in the role of fallen royalty, I endured the smirks of my classmates the rest of the day.
And, of course, I was *pissed* at my mother for making me lose face in front of my peeps!

supermonkey said...

VERY IMPRESSIVE WITH THE MUG! I think you may be better at crafts than I am. LOL

Femme au Foyer said...

Thanks, SuperMonkey (it took me a second to figure out who you were)!

How's Little Super Monkey?

There is no way I could ever rival you in crafts, so your position is safe in our family.

Anonymous said...

Mel, it was actually his second helping believe it or not. The meatloaf at my school is well loved, all of the kids eat it and eat all of it. Amazingly, they don't like the mac and cheese as much. Go figure.
And Mar, no, the "Don't be bossy" wasn't some sort of subliminal message. It's just one of my most used phrases I use with the kids right after "stay away from your magnet" and "oh my bob." And for those of you scratching your heads as to what a magnet is, it's that one kid you can't stay away from no matter how much effort you exert into trying to stay away from them. I know we all had one of those as a kid. I have a whole truck load of fun words and phrases I use, to the point the kids go home, say it to their parents, and the parents come back to me and say "you said this, didn't you?" One mom gave me a dirty look after I got her daughter into singing "Miss Stidman is Coming to Town" instead of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Mind control is ultimately what I'm going after, I like to start young...