Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Yesterday (which still feels like today since I am typing this at 1 am) I turned 37 and today Little Husband reached 24 weeks. A milestone for both of us since I don't like the number six and longed to reach the next age. As for Little Husband's milestone, well, it's always good when he turns a week older. Now I can sit comfortable knowing that I am officially 37 years old and that Little Husband has developed that much further.

I spent the day spending spa gift certificates which I found to be an excellent way to celebrate a birthday. My older sister eerily read my mind yesterday and sent me an e-giftcard for a one-hour off-the-charts pedicure. I literally opened the email minutes after thinking, "Oh yuck--I really need a pedicure!"

In other birthday news, the love of my life gifted me with a new love of my life--a full-size digital piano! I have wanted a piano ever since I was very, very young. Once upon a time my parents had an old, beat-up black upright but they got rid of it after repeatedly instructing my brother and sister and me not to bang on it (although our banging on it is probably not why they got rid of the piano). I loved banging on that piano and have missed it ever since.

After playing my piano for a few hours this evening I asked Husband if I could take it to bed with me but he said "no". He's unreasonable like that. I had to console myself by playing it for another hour after he went to bed. Now I need to give it a name...

Fortunately, this is not its permanent place of rest. The piano store sold husband the wrong stand so he is going to correct the situation after work today. He's also going to buy me a bench. Of course, in no time I will be playing like Harry Connick Jr. so a bench won't be necessary!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

There's Poop in There!

"I see now why your A/C hasn't been working properly," the repairman said to Husband, "someone's been dumping poop into your duct work.

Not surprised, Husband turned my way. "Aha," he said, "That's what we've been smelling these last few weeks."

"No, no--that was the dog and she was sick. We had that carpet cleaned already. Remember? It cost us $200!"

I was having a hard time understanding how Husband could forget that incident. It will be forever etched in my mind.

"Excuse me sir," I directed towards the repairman, "Would you mind telling me how you troubleshot this situation and any steps I might be able to take myself to fix it?" This is common question that I pose to repairmen. They rarely take me seriously and thus never seem to mind schooling me on the ins-and-outs of their trade.

"Well...I don't know. This is pretty complicated stuff." The gruff repairman looked dubious.

"Just an overview, then," I negotiated. "I know a little bit about A/C units and can even troubleshoot the LEDs on some models."

He relaxed. "Oh...okay. Normally I wouldn't take a little lady like you seriously, but you seem like you would absorb this pretty well. You see, it all starts with the compressor..."

Suddenly I realized that my head felt groggy and my speech was sluggish. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open. In fact, suddenly my eyes were shut and I couldn't seem to open them. My head weighed a ton and was pounding. I needed to lie down.

Then I realized I *was* lying down and my eyes wouldn't open because I was asleep and having a dream. A vibrant, lifelike, poop dream.

Yesterday my equally realistic dreams were about rats crawling in my bed.

Gotta love being pregnant.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Business Here, By God!

I contacted my Professional Business Coaching buddies in Florida to see what they could do for me. They not only "polished up" my hairstyle and dress, they also managed to polish 20 years off my face and body. Unfortunately in the midst of all that polishing they seem to have rubbed my eyebrows off, but I forgive them. Miracle workers!

I'm Calling "B.S."...

This woman is not pregnant.

Do you know how I know? Because I *am* pregnant and pregnant women can spot their own. Why do they take an emaciated teenager, slap a belly pad on her and stick her in a maternity dress? Where are the boobs? The bloating? The altered stance resulting from chronic lower back pain?

Judging from her belly if she were pregnant, she'd be about 8 months along and would NOT have stick arms.

Nope, not pregnant.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I Have Just Become *That Parent*

I just mailed off a preschool application for Little Husband. I do believe that this pregnancy has brought me to a new low. The next thing you know, I'll be attending fundraisers and rubbing elbows with tenured professors in order to secure his spot in the Ivy League.

No need to say it--I make even myself sick.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Business Where?

It's 2 am and I'm suffering a little mid-trimester insomnia these days so I decided to peruse the Internet for information about Perdido Key, FL. Perdido Key is significant because we plan to take a trip there in August. I stumble upon one of those chamber web sites and start clicking on all the links to see where they will take me. I click on the "Local Services" link which lists local businesses such as tax accountants, photographers, etc. This picture actually accompanied a business that specializes in "Professional Business Coaching".

I'm not saying she looks bad by any stretch, because she doesn't. I'm just saying that if someone coached me into that hairstyle, those sunglasses and that tank top under the guise of "polishing my professional image", I'd want my money back.

Then again, if I looked like her I probably wouldn't need my money back because I would have picked up some rich, Floridian retiree.

And while we're polishing our professional image, how about we polish the cover of that laptop!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Oh Yeah...

Yesterday, I walked four miles, then hiked another two. On Saturday I lifted weights for an hour. Today, I parked here:

I felt a little guilty so I arched my back and, for the first time in the history of my prenancy, attempted to look more pregnant than I am. Fearing that wasn't enough, I put my hand on my lower back and groaned a little. Regardless of whether I deserve rockstar parking or not, I intend to take advantage of this all. throughout. my pregnancy.