"I see now why your A/C hasn't been working properly," the repairman said to Husband, "someone's been dumping poop into your duct work.
Not surprised, Husband turned my way. "Aha," he said, "That's what we've been smelling these last few weeks."
"No, no--that was the dog and she was sick. We had that carpet cleaned already. Remember? It cost us $200!"
I was having a hard time understanding how Husband could forget that incident. It will be forever etched in my mind.
"Excuse me sir," I directed towards the repairman, "Would you mind telling me how you troubleshot this situation and any steps I might be able to take myself to fix it?" This is common question that I pose to repairmen. They rarely take me seriously and thus never seem to mind schooling me on the ins-and-outs of their trade.
"Well...I don't know. This is pretty complicated stuff." The gruff repairman looked dubious.
"Just an overview, then," I negotiated. "I know a little bit about A/C units and can even troubleshoot the LEDs on some models."
He relaxed. "Oh...okay. Normally I wouldn't take a little lady like you seriously, but you seem like you would absorb this pretty well. You see, it all starts with the compressor..."
Suddenly I realized that my head felt groggy and my speech was sluggish. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open. In fact, suddenly my eyes were shut and I couldn't seem to open them. My head weighed a ton and was pounding. I needed to lie down.
Then I realized I *was* lying down and my eyes wouldn't open because I was asleep and having a dream. A vibrant, lifelike, poop dream.
Yesterday my equally realistic dreams were about rats crawling in my bed.
Gotta love being pregnant.
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11 comments:
hahaha...poop in dere! how horrible would that have been if it weren't a dream!
Can you imagine? Someone would have to shovel it into the A/C duct! Last night I chased Husband around the house while accusing him of doing it. My rationale was that it wasn't me (I know this for a fact), it wasn't the the dogs (no opposable thumbs)and no one else has access to our house. That left Husband as the culprit!
You had me going! Even though it was a short post I had to read it in multiple sittings. As I was walking up to retrieve my crying son from his bedroom I was thinking, "What the hell is wrong with them.. not jumping up and down at the thought of poop in the duct work!?!??"
No kidding! And here I am all concerned about how to troubleshoot it instead! How to *troubleshoot* it?!?!? You sniff the air, identify the smell, then clean it out, that's how you troubleshoot it! It's not as if they have some sort of probe that will allow you to identify the matter.
Also, I found it humorous that once the technician began going into his long, drawn-out explanation of A/C compressors, I woke up. Usually one falls asleep from boredom. I guess if you're already asleep, you wake up!
What I think is hilarious is your subconscious has taken what is typically the start of a hot repairman fantasy and turned it into some sort of OJT/seminar.Well I guess even in your dreams you can't cheat on Husband. And what is up with the guy calling you "little lady"?? LMAO I cant picture any guy getting away with that.
ah gotta love pregger dreams. i would wake up and be so mad at my husband thinking he had really done what i dreamed. but soon you will wish you could sleep long enough to have a dream!
Shhhh...no need to freak me out just yet. Let's all pretend that the third trimester is bliss, shall we? ;)
Ew, I am with M2K2, I had to read it in parts and kept thinking "Was it the crazy homeless guy that yelled at her a while back? He DID follow them back! Instead of hurting them, he's taking dumps in their A/C? That's one way, I guess..."
Good to hear that no one's actually crapping into your A/C duct!
I, too, had the most realistic pregnancy dreams! I also used to wake up FURIOUS with Chris, as well as random people. It was like the Friends episode where Phoebe is mad at Ross and he has no idea why, then at the end of the episode she tells him something like "Well, it's because when we were in the desert, you told that guy that I have ugly feet.." or something like that. Then she realized that it was a dream and felt all sorts of stupid.
Yeah. Totally happened to me on a daily basis. Kind of funny now!
i just realized why the title of this post sounded so familiar. didn't you post something a year or two ago about "Poop on Der!" when that poor guy took his pants to the drycleaner and she pointed out a stain and said over and over "poop on der! poop on der!" hahahaha. loved that post. poor guy.
Good catch, Melek! The post in question came from this story: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/22983521.html
Sometimes, it is pretty vexing to see your perfectly clean carpet being pooped on or stained, since it is usually a backbreaking labor to do one. That's why I go for the carpet cleaners (Portland-based cleaners) to get my carpet cleaned if the mess is unmanageable to clean by myself.
Being satisfied by the level of service of the carpet cleaners in Portland, Oregon, I also recommend them to my friends whom I know has the same dilemma as me.
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