"Aunt Femme, why can't we ride Space Mountain?" my four year-old nephew asked, his baby hand clasped trustingly in my own. "We can't ride because you're too little and I have a little, tiny baby growing in my belly," I told him.
This caught his attention as he regarded my stomach. We were in line at Disney World, waiting to board some sort of kiddie spaceship ride. Sweat was pouring from our brows as the sun beat down on us yet he was doing everything in his power to be a good little boy. I love my nephew as if he were my own.
Still thinking about the news I'd delivered to him, he reached over and patted my stomach. Then, he lifted the hem of my shirt ever so slightly for a peak underneath. Finding nothing of interest, he released my shirt and went back to patting my belly.
"There's a baby in there?" he asked in his innocent, little boy voice.
"There sure is," I told him eagerly. "Aunt Femme is going to have a baby in a few months!"
He thought some more and then...
He reared back and punched me in the gut.
I guess that's one way to knock out the competition.
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Same scenario but this time I'm at Epcot by myself on a park bench waiting for Husband to get off some G-Force ride (I don't speak space lingo so forgive me if I worded that incorrectly). Since I have nothing better to do than people watch, I people watched my head off.
A mid-forties couple crosses my line of site and they look like something out of an ad for a Disney family vacation. Mom's got the "mom shorts" (loose fitting khakis that fall to her knees and rise to her naval) coupled with a modest, tucked-in polo shirt and a white sun visor. White socks and Keds top off the ensemble. Dad's wearing similar attire. These parents have "Ultra Conservative Bordering on Nerdy" written all over them. Their idea of kinky is using tongue. And their teenage daughter?
She was sporting a half tee, short, Catholic schoolgirl skirt and knee pads.
Something tells me that her parents didn't get the implication...
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11 comments:
I asked nephew what he thought about you having a baby that other day, and he didn't have anything to say. In fact, he seemed surprised about it when I mentioned it...But, that might explain what he was doing to Boyfriend while we were waiting for snacks at the movies, maybe he thought Boyfriend was pregnant too!
As for the family, too many parents just let their kids do whatever (or wear whatever) because it's easier than to argue. But, I would bet the teenage girl didn't quite understand the meaning behind the knee pads, might have thought they were a "skateboarder" look.
Uh huh, sure she didn't. ;)
Nothing says "skateboarding" like a Catholic school girl's skirt.
What was Nephew doing to Boyfriend while in line at the movie theater? Did he, by any chance, punch him in the 'nads like he did to Husband? Apparently Nephew intends to wipe out all competition--present and future!
The reason little nephew was surprised when Rose mentioned Auntie Femme's baby is because he thought he had taken care of little Bevo while in line at Disney World!
As for the daughter.. well, I don't know what to say. That makes me sad.
He was knocking Boyfriend in the stomach with his sunglasses, nothing too hard.
One word, boy.
omg so Nephew has been punching other ppL! He gave me a blanket party but that was slapping not punching.
But one time when I was at mom and dad's and Nephew was visiting and he was bored. So he went up to Dad, who was sitting on the couch, and kicked him in the thigh! Dad thought it was funny and they started fake wrestling.
when i read the last paragraph, i was like "hmmm, what IS she implying". seriously, i had to think about it for a minute. maybe bc i used to wear kneepads a lot....for indoor volleyball. i didnt know i was being a blatant slut :)
i can't believe he punched you in the tummy! yikes.
Kelly - you're hilarious and probably exactly right!
Melek - and therein lies the point. Knee pads don't imply anything when coupled with a sport such as volleyball (okay, maybe on *you* they do, ha ha!). I mean, we wore knee pads in Rollergirls and we were the picture of innocence, right?
Right?
Nah...I'm just sayin' that it's saying something when you couple them with that particular outfit at a place like Epcot. What could you possibly need them for at Epcot, particularly if you're sporting a short skirt?
I love my knee pads! I look really hot when I wear them with an oversized dirty t-shirt and my sweat pants!
Do you think knee pads were invented by a gay guy or a woman?
i dont condone the wearing of kneepads with a catholic schoolgirl skirt...especially at epcot.
unless of course her penalty for wearing such a short skirt was to scrub the floors of the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride with a toothbrush...in which case, she may need kneepads....
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