Thursday, September 11, 2008

I Crushed It With My Bare Hands!

Today the lamp shade was delivered for Little Husband's new nursery lamp. This was good news because the lamp itself was delivered several weeks ago and has been sitting, bare and alone, on top of the dresser. These were shower gifts purchased at Restoration Hardware Baby so they aren't items that can be replaced inexpensively.

I unwrapped the lamp shade from its packaging and dashed up the stairs to affix it to its base. Not satisfied with the seemingly crooked angle of the shade, I worked the shade to try and straighten it out. The angle didn't change so I grabbed hold of the base and harp and attempted to align the shade by bending the harp. The next thing I knew, I heard a shatter and looked down to see the lamp base in one hand and the shade (still attached to the harp) in the other. I was crushed.

My first thought was that of Husband killing me for busting a brand new lamp. Being one of six kids, I am quite adept at covering up my screwups. If, for some reason, I couldn't cover them up, I'd blame one of my siblings. I didn't have this option as I immediately raced downstairs for the Krazy Glue. (Side note: my older sister, known as "Blank" in the comments section of this blog, was especially good for finger pointing purposes. One time when I was 9 or 10 I wrote myself a check from my mother's checkbook. I made it out in the amount of $1,000,000. When my mother asked me about it, I denied all knowledge and blamed my sister which was a pretty bold move seeing as how the check was made out in my handwriting.)

Krazy Glue in hand, I attempted to piece the lamp back together. Having no patience, I liberally poured glue all over the cracks and tried to set the pieces. It didn't look that great but the cracks were at the top of the lamp so I figured that the shade would cover them. Then I realized that Krazy Glue had dripped (and dried) all down the sides of the lamp as well so I busted out the nail polish remover.

Here is the net result:



Turns out that nail polish removes removes everything (i.e., glaze) from a lamp *except* Krazy Glue.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh my bob, that's not good. It's a lamp from Restoration Hardware and it broke clean in your hands? Isn't their stuff supposed to be super nice and not broke so easily????

Katie said...

So the sheer, brute strength of your hands broke the lamp base? Do you think that you could come over and do that to my husband's neck next time he makes me mad? That'd be much appreciated!

blog author said...

you weren't kidding....your repair job IS quite ghetto. :) just glad you didn't cut yourself or anything when you masculinely crushed the poor lamp to a pulp.

maybe you should just nicely arrange all the stuffed animals you have gotten around the lamp to hide the cracks. that should do the trick.

tobacco brunette said...

Do you want to borrow my Italian grandmother who can return ANYTHING? I mean seriously, anything. She's gotten refunds on a 6-year-old couch and a 10-year-old carpet, so the broken lamp she could probably handle over the phone.

What's her secret? The woman is relentless (but we love her!).

marthamisdemeanor said...

ha ha... awwww I'm sorry girl. But I have to laugh cause I was pleasantly surprised to only see a lamp in the pic and not a lamp and a hand krazy glued to the lamp! As a krazy glue survivor, I say that this can be written off as a victory! :)

kay said...

huh. i didn't notice anything wrong actually. :)